I have always been a helper. Always. You need someone to volunteer? Put me down. It's my nature.
I became a registered nurse because I love to help people. I specifically became a hospice nurse because I was helping people during one of the most vulnerable times in their lives. When my husband's unit was deployed to Afghanistan, I became the Family Readiness Coordinator for the unit. When the unit lost a soldier overseas, I became a liaison between the family and the social services. I became an online fitness coach because I understand the struggles that people have with food and exercise. I suppose if I could be one of Santa's elves, I'd do that too.
I love to help people. Unfortunately, while it is a great character trait, it is also a lousy one. Here is why: I am guilty of losing myself as I put others before me. Until I am smacked in the face (not literally, sorry friend) I tend to continue to give and give. I just give and give until there is nothing left...and people are willing to take and take without reciprocation. Granted, not all people, but some are leaches...looking to take what they can get.
I am blessed to have a friend who recognized this in me recently and told me that I actually don't owe anyone anything. Huh? I don't? For real? I can simply stop giving? Wow, that concept is so foreign to me.
This brought me real clarity. I give because I choose to give. However, if I continue to give of myself...to my detriment...it is my own fault too. I can actually change my mind!!! I'm allowed!!! I can do so without explanation or guilt. How flipping LIBERATING is that!?!?!?!?!?
and so I end with...
My true nature sucks...sort of. Nah, no it doesn't! I rock!
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